Of Paddles and Muffins
by Wuddlypums
Summary: Chase needs help and only Foreman is up to the task. ForemanChase, HouseWilson, implied CuddyCameron. Please review :D


A/N: This is the result of one late night story challenge between myself and a friend. I had to use the words Foreman, Chase, and pencil in a story with some kind of cohesion…um…yeah. So here it is :D

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Things were quiet at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital...at least in the diagnostic area. Chase, Cameron and Foreman were in the deliberation room involved in individual activities. Cameron was reading House's mail. Foreman was doing medical research. Chase was doing a crossword puzzle. Everything was quiet until House stormed in the room with a big grin on his face. He held up a sheet of paper and announced, "I'm eligible for early retirement. I can leave now and get a good pension plan. I also saved money on my car insurance by switching to Geico."

House grinned again and limped out of the room and down the hall to Wilson's office. He spent a couple hours in the locked office and then headed home.

Back in the deliberation room Cameron wasn't taking the news too well... In fact she was taking the news pretty hard. She sat at the table bawling her eyes out. She just kept crying and crying and crying...until she became dehydrated. She was admitted to the hospital to be treated for her dehydration, and she also had something called a 'crunchy bladder'. A crunchy bladder occurs when you don't drink enough water and your bladder becomes dreadfully dry.

Cameron was placed in a hospital room and an IV was inserted. When Chase and Foreman went to visit Cameron they found out she was placed in a coma because she wouldn't stop talking.

Nicole stopped by with a gift basket for Cameron. She left it at Cameron's bedside when she discovered the comatose Cameron. Nicole was a closet slasher so she stopped by Wilson's office hoping to see some House/Wilson action, but Wilson had already left for the day. She went to Wilson's house and knocked on the door repeatedly but there was no answer. Nicole crept up to Wilson's bedroom window and peered in. She saw that House and Wilson were at it again so she hid behind a leaf and enjoyed the show.

Back at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital Foreman and Chase went back to what they were doing. Foreman looked through old patient files and Chase worked on his crossword.

Chase sighed and gnawed on his pencil and then he sighed some more. Finally he asked Foreman for some help. "What is a four letter work that begins with a 'p' and ends with an 'e'?"

Foreman grabbed the crossword from Chase and looked it over. He thought for a few minutes and then threw the paper on the table.

That sudden movement made something stir in Chase and he looked over at Foreman. Foreman looked at Chase. Chase place a finger on his lip and looked seductively at Foreman.

Meanwhile, Cuddy had gone back to visit Cameron, and Nicole stopped by too. Cameron was brought out of her coma and the three ladies ate muffins from the gift basket. There were a lot of muffins and they ate quite a few while chatting and reading magazines from the gift basket.

Back in the deliberation room Foreman was suddenly attracted to Chase...and strangely reminded of his old girlfriend. Chase had pretty eyes framed in pretty eyelashes (which he batted at Foreman) and his blond hair was getting long. Chase felt pretty because of the way Foreman was looking at him.

Foreman gruffly asked, "So what should we do now?"

Chase shrugged and Foreman got an idea. Handing Chase a key, he told him to go in his locker and put on the outfit found in the plastic bag. Chase was in some sort of trance from gazing into Foreman's chocolate brown eyes, so he promptly complied with the strange request.

Chase went to the change room and put on the nurse's outfit he found. He put on some rather sexy stockings. He wiggled into a short white skirt and a typical nurse's blouse. He slid on some white high heels and his little nurse's cap.

Chase sauntered back to the deliberation room surprisingly well for a man in high heels. He had practice dressing pretty, for although Chase chewed (his pencil) like a man, he had feminine characteristics. He figured that wearing heels would be okay because today he had a short shift. When he shut the door to the room the two men closed all the blinds. Little did they know that Cuddy had installed cameras in that room to spy on House.

Cuddy was back in her office munching on some muffins she had stolen from Cameron. She settled back in her chair, getting comfortable to watch the interesting thing that was unfolding in the deliberation room.

Foreman went into House's old office and opened a special drawer in the desk. He removed a large wooden paddle and proceeded to disinfect it. Foreman was a doctor so he was very conscientious about cleanliness...beside he wasn't sure where that paddle had last been.

"You've been a very bad nurse... Did you know you killed our latest patient? You gave him 1000cc of acetaminophen when you should've given him 100cc."

Foreman walked over to Chase lightly tapping the paddle on his hand. "You need to be punished... And since you gave poor Mr. Wilson (who was no relation to Dr. Wilson) 10 times the amount of medicine you should have, I'm going to paddle you 10 times. Bend over."

Forman motioned Chase over to the table and Chase bent over it. When Chase bent over it was apparent he was not wearing any underwear, because Foreman could clearly see Chase's hairless, nicely rounded bottom.

Foreman wound up his arm and spanked Chase with a resounding whack.

"One." -whack-  
"Two." -whack-

Chase bit his lip and desperately tried to keep in any whimpers or yelps. He was sure that if he made any noises he would be in for a bigger punishment.

"Three." -whack-  
"Four." -whack-

Chase's bottom was starting to sting. A red welt in the shape of the paddle was developing on his behind. The next whack startled Chase and unable to hold back any longer he let out a high pitched girlish yell, "Mommmyyyyyyy!"

Cuddy jumped, and in doing so tossed her crumbly muffin up, resulting in crumbs scattering down her skirt and legs. Not only had she installed multiple cameras to spy on House but microphones too.

Ever since he was a little boy Chase would cry out to his mother when he was sick or hurt...so it was only natural that he would cry her name after such a hearty spank. We won't get into what Foreman thought.

Foreman considered adding more spankings to the punishment, but a wave a pity ran over him as he gazed at Chase's cherry red bottom. Foreman decided to continue with his regular punishment.

"Five." -whack-  
"Six." -whack-  
"Seven." -whack-

Meanwhile, back in her office, Cuddy was trying to clean up the mess of muffin crumbs she had made. Although the muffin was crumbly it was also sticky and Cuddy briefly wished Cameron was well enough to come in there and lick the crumbs off her legs. Cuddy pulled out her little vacuum and started sucking up the mess. As she paid more attention to her TV screen than the cleaning job, her skirt got caught in the vacuum and she lost some of the fabric. She was already dressed slutty as it was, so it didn't really matter.

"Eight, nine, ten." -whack, whack, whack- And then it was over.

Poor Chase's bum was burning and there were open wounds.

Foreman glanced around the room and spied House's Aloe Vera plant in the corner. He washed his hands, put on a pair of gloves and squeezed out some goo from the bit of plant he broke off.

Foreman rubbed Chase's bottom in small circular motions...and both parties started getting aroused.

When Chase's bottom was completely covered in the soothing goo, Foreman paused his rubbing and then stuck a digit into Chase's bottom hole.

Chase gasped at the surprising intrusion. Once he got used to the pressure he started pressing up against Foreman's finger. Foreman added another digit and Chase made happy puppy sounds.

Foreman had a dilemma. He wanted to take things a little further but he was missing a key supply. As a doctor he really couldn't justify having unprotected sex with Chase...no matter how virginal he looked.

Foreman spied a pencil over on the table and he knew what he had to do. He removed his fingers from Chase's bottom hole and grabbed the pencil. Chase whimpered. The pencil wasn't an ordinary pencil. It was one of those souvenir pencils so it was extra long, extra thick and hard...like Foreman. Foreman took the pencil, and a sheet of paper and wrote his number on it.

"Call me so we can finish this another time," Foreman said as he walked out of the room.

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**A/N:** This is my first Chase/Foreman fic. It started out as a very…strange ramble and one thing led to another.


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